Kaihoro Times: June 2011

Thursday 30 June 2011

Diablo Cody Given Directing Gig

And now some news on the most over-hyped person in Hollywood today, Diablo Cody, who has been given her first shot at directing one of her scripts.

The film will tell the tale of a young religious woman who loses her faith, goes to Vegas but finds her faith again. Zzzzzzzzz Yawn Zzzzzzzzzz.

Remember back when you were a kid and your parents used to watch those slow paced thrillers which bore no resemblance to the mindless Hollywood action films you adored? Just me eh?

Well how times and attitudes change with the release of the all new Tinker Tailor Solider Spy which, to me now, looks fantastic.

War Horse Trailer

I've learnt to never underestimate a Steven Spielberg film. That name is synonymous with quality and as such even a story about a horse should raise interest.

That being said its hard for me to see anything of real interest in the trailer for the Berg's new film. I hate to say it but it does look slightly 'mumsy', as in "my mum will love this".

I like the Mission Impossible franchise. I think they're more than suitable popcorn entertainment, although I do feel let down by them not following the brilliant originals theme and becoming overly grand.

The latest trailer for MI:4 looks to follow on from MI:3 but with a much grander, and deeper storyline.

I've been on about the Fright Night remake for many a month now, eagerly anticipating each new nugget of news that comes out.

Well character banners have now been released giving us a clear look at the main leads including, at last, David Tennant's Peter Vincent.

And I thought the first trailer for this was funny. The red band trailer for Horrible Bosses has been released and improves on the first with added swearing. Consider yourself warned.

Yes it may be crude but when it's done as cleverly as this it really works a treat.

After a few tantalising screen caps Pixar have finally given us the first real footage of Brave in the form of this newly released teaser trailer.

It very much is a teaser, not really showing much other than a gorgeous, sweeping Scottish landscape along with a glimpse of our Heroine.

I'm going to fly through these stories in an effort to try and get up-to-date so please excuse the lack of text and substance that surrounds these snippets.

So first, the new trailer for Apollo 18. Looks great to me, the old found footage story has been transported to the Moon and really works.

First Set Pictures From The Hobbit

Exciting times indeed. The first real set pictures from The Hobbit have been released on line by Entertainment Weekly.

The pictures give us our first glimpse of Martin Freeman as Bilbo, a few of the dwarfs and one of Gandalf kicking back and pondering, like all good wizards do.

Plot
Work causes a single mother to move to China with her young son; in his new home, the boy embraces kung fu, taught to him by a master.

Review
I've reached that stage in life where the films I grew up with as a kid are now being remade.

Initially it was Will Smith who was attached to the lead role in Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained but now it seems its Jamie Foxx.

Sources seem to think Smith turned down the role, but seeing as he's accepting fair like Men In Black III these days, a return to a potential Oscar nomination with this role would seem a bit off the mark.

The Crow was an unbelievable film. A dark, violent, touching film that should have made a star out of Brandon Lee but ultimately led to tragedy.

The fact that The Crow's name has been sullied with abysmal remakes and a shittty TV compounds this tragedy even more which makes the idea of a sequel slightly worrying.

Jason Statham is carving quite a nice little action niche through Hollywood at the moment. The trouble is he's playing exactly the same role each time.

With Killer Elite its more of the same but remarkably this also stars Clive Owen and Robert De Niro. Even I was taken aback by that.

Happy Birthday Bruce Campbell

The legend that is Bruce Campbell is 53 years young today. As a homage to the great man as one of my favourite actors ever, ever, ever I've listed my top 5 Bruce Campbell movies.

Ok so the Evil Dead films take up three of the spots but in which order they come therein lies the mystery.

David Cronenberg has been once of cinema's most consistent and brilliant directors for over thirty years. Forever pushing boundaries and challenging his audience with each new film.

A Dangerous Method, his latest offering, has just had its first trailer released and it looks fantastic. No scrap that, it looks absolutely wondrous.

Review: Sucker Punch (15) ★★★

Plot
A young girl is institutionalized by her abusive stepfather. Retreating to an alternative reality as a coping strategy, she envisions a plan which will help her escape from the mental facility.

Review
The age old adage of storytelling is that a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end.

They've released a few parodies of other trailers but now its time to see what The Muppets Movie is really all about with their first proper trailer.

Right. Ok I get it, the Muppets are getting back together to save their old theatre from a land baron. Simple plot and all Muppets present and corrected for. So why have I not warmed to it?

I'm a big fan of Jeff Buckley. A talented musician who tragically died way to young. So it perked my interested when I found out that a film based on the life of Buckley is in pre production.

Today they seemed to have found the man to play the part of the iconic singer in the form of Penn Badgley. Who? Do you watch Gossip Girl? No me neither.

Puss In Boots was a good addition to the Shrek movies but that doesn't mean that he'll transfer over and carry a movie all on his own. Well I don't think so anyway.

I mean how many cat gags can you fit into a film? Judging by this newly released trailer ... alot. I want to like this but I'm struggling.

Conan The Barbarian Red Band Trailer

If the trailer is anything to go by then the new Conan film is shaping up very nicely indeed. Red band trailers always bring out the best and this one makes for a much more appealing movie.

You want blood? Oh Yeah. Decapitations? Check. Sex? Oh baby. Drunken Conan punching a camel? Well you can't have everything can you.

Shake your head and rub your eyes again. Yes that title hasn't deceived you it's 100% true and confirmed Evangeline Lilly has joined The Hobbit cast. Along with Dame Edna. Hang on what?

Lilly is due to star as an elf specifically written for the movie whereas Barry Humphries is set to star as a Goblin King. Talk about left field.

Review: Taken (15) ★★★★

Plot
A former spy relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been forced into the slave trade.

Review
When Dave The Boy's initial review of Taken came out it stirred a fair bit of controversy.

Ferris Bueller Sequel In The Works?

Again, this isn't something I'm interested in but loyal readership takes precedence over my nihilistic views in this particular case.

Fans of Ferris Bueller's Day Off may well be in for a treat as it turns out a script is floating around Hollywood pertaining to said Mr Beuller and another day off.

Plot
A journalist is aided in his search for a woman who has been missing -- or dead -- for forty years by a young female hacker.

Review
I initially watched the film. Then I read the book. Now I've revisited the film one more time and I'm still struggling to write a review for a film that in essence is an old fashioned whodunit but in reality is a completely different beast altogether.

Brad Pitt, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jonah Hill. Pretty big names attached to a film that almost went down the drain.

Moneyball was originally going to be directed by Steven Soderbergh, he left and everything seemed to stop. Then Bennett Miller came along and finished the film. Now we have the first trailer.

Whooah. Now that's what I call big budget. As regular readers will know I've never seen a Harry Potter film all the way through but judging from this it looks like I'm missing a real treat.

Now I don't know much about the storyline but judging this as an outsider I have to say it looks great. Although there looks to be a massive spoiler in it?!

Review: How To Train Your Dragon (PG) ★★★★

Plot
A hapless young Viking who aspires to hunt dragons becomes the unlikely friend of a young dragon himself, and learns there may be more to the creatures than he assumed.

Review
Dreamworks really have a tough gig. Each year or so they turn out really good, solid animated features only to be blown away every time by Pixar.

Here's some interesting news, it would appear Sir Steven Spielberg has been in discussions surrounding a return to the Jurassic Park franchise. Good Times!

To news is that he's been talking to Mark Protosevich, who wrote the screenplay for Thor, and has been throwing ideas around.

You have been warned. This news snippet contains potential spoilers for The Dark Knight Rises so if you don't want to know, best ignore this.

That's right, move along, nothing to see here. Just need to fill up a few lines before the jump. What to say, what to say. Errrrmm, bah forget it, click read more to find out who this new cast member is.

No that's not me on the left there, it's actually Hugh Jackman who looks to be in talks to star for The King's Speech director Tom Hooper in his forth coming adaptation of Les Miserables.

There's nothing concrete in place and not even roles have been discussed but it seems likely that he'll play Jean Valjean, a man recently released from prison that finds a way to re-invent his life and becomes a wealthy factory owner and mayor.

Yes you certainly did read that right. Russell Crowe is in talks to star as Superman's biological father Jo-El, a role made famous by Marlon Brando in the original 70's movie.

There's no word yet on how big this role will be, Brando's role was more a cameo than anything else, so will Crowe want a bigger slice of the action?

Caption Competition

I thought I'd give this a go to gauge interest and participation. Yes its a good old fashioned caption competition. Huzzah!

Depending on how popular this actually is is dependant on how often it will run. I'm hoping to add prizes at some point but this of course will depend on cash flow and interest.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I don't think this one will find its way to UK cinemas and I'd be surprised if it even got a run in the US. Beneath the Darkness has direct to DVD stamped all over it.

What has happened to Tuck Pendelton? He used to have zero defects but now looks like he's seriously losing the plot along with his acting skills.

Poor old sharks, they really do get a bad rep. All they do is swim, eat and make little baby sharks. That's it. What do idiots expect when they go into their waters?

Well Halle Berry finds out in her new movie Dark Tide. Doesn't look like the most interesting of films judging from this trailer but apparently its just a promo.

Review: The Ward (15) ★★★

Plot
A horror centered on an institutionalized young woman who becomes terrorized by a ghost.

Review
There's a feature on the site listed Actors That Lost Their Way.
It outlines my thoughts on certain actors who seem to have lost the plot and become self parodies of themselves.

I've blogged many times about the quality Pixar offers in its movies. Well I've just come across a Pixar direct to DVD movie called Planes.

Its billed as if its supposed to sit right alongside Cars but the strange thing that's being reported is that Pixar doesn't seem to be listed anywhere on it. Strange.

A weird one this, I've never heard of One Shot but there's apparently quite a lot of other people that have. One of these people is Tom Cruise who is in talks to star as the lead Jack Reacher.

For others that haven't heard of the novel here's the basic premise

Review: Paul (15) ★★★

Plot
Two British comic-book geeks traveling across the U.S. encounter an alien outside Area 51.

Review
Simon Pegg. Nick Frost. Two names that have become synonymous with quality comedy.

Neat little idea this. Slate Magazine took all the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and ranked who had the worst portfolio on the site.

Turns out the worst actress is Jennifer Love Hewitt, no real surprise there, and the worst actor? Well that would be Mr Chuck Norris. I wouldn't want to be Slate Magazine when he finds out.

Things are really hotting up for what could be one of the best looking films out this year. Jon Favreau's Cowboys & Aliens just had another trailer released with a smidgen of extra footage.

You've seen most of this before in other trailers I've posted but this one gives you more Daniel Craig and just a glimpse at the aliens. Well their hands at least.

The Three Musketeers - Worst Poster Ever?

The new poster for Paul W. S. Anderson's The Three Musketeers has been released and by all means, it is one of the worst pieces of advertising media I've ever seen.

Where to start? The god awful Photoshopping? The minuscule heads on huge bodies? The fact that it would have been binned in 1985 as a bad VHS cover (thanks Total Film!)

Well it's a teaser so don't expect much, but that of course won't curb much of the UK's excitement about the newly released Inbetweeners movie trailer.

Quite frankly there's not much to see here, just the lads wondering down a Cyprus high street checking out the ladies and looking rather out of place.

Review: Cedar Rapids (15) ★★★★

Review
Tim Lippe has no idea what he's in for when he's sent to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to represent his company at an annual insurance convention, where he soon finds himself under the "guidance" of three convention veterans.

Plot
I had to share this little film I watched the other night with you.

Ok, ok so I know today I've given George Lucas a bit of a bashing today, but it's because of this that people have come to hate him so much.

Yes his new Star Tours (you did see what they did there didn't you? It is rather subtle) has opened in Disneyland and guess who's turned up to try it out?

Well if your Shia Labeouf it would appear to be. He's been spouting off about yet another Indy film again, this time to MTV, dropping hint, after hint that it's imminent.

I'll post what he had to say but I think you, like me, will see past it as just an actor crying out for another role in a huge blockbuster.

Awesome, just outright, unadulterated awesome. Jurassic Park has been given an official (approx) release date and some exiting news on the Jaws release.

Firstly Jurassic Park, this has been slated for a pre 'holiday season' release which will most probably mean the back end of the year - just in time for Christmas wink, wink.

Human Centipede II - BANNED

I've yet to see the first Human Centipede, in fact I'm still considering whether or not I want to. I consider myself a horror aficionado but there's things I just don't want to see in the name of entertainment. But I do have that choice.

Well it looks like I won't get that choice with it's sequel as the BBFC have outright banned the film.

It's catch up time so lets get on with it. The first, full trailer for Breaking Dawn is now online and for some reason embedded below.

I'm not sure why I keep posting this stuff but I've been told to broaden the interests of the blog to embrace all manners of readers so here it is.

Film	Rating
Prometheus	★★★★
Crazy, Stupid, Love	★★★
Cabin In The Woods	★
The Muppets	★★★★

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